While being pregnant there was only one response that irked me when I asked for advice from friends and family. Now, before I get into it I want to mention that I am aware they had the best intentions and that, yes, they were right, but I felt like the question I asked had nothing to do with their answer.
By the end of my pregnancy I could have strangled anyone who said that to me. Below are the questions I asked that got that answer along with the answer I wish I had gotten.
What do contractions feel like?
– You’ll know when you get them… true but completely unhelpful to a first time mother. I only had one round of Braxton Hicks and they happened about three days before my labor actually started. That is when I found out what contractions feel like. It is, in fact, similar to period contractions with a twist. I compared mine to that part in Indiana Jones where the Voodoo Doctor guy reaches into people’s hearts and rips them out, EXCEPT it isn’t like your uterus is being ripped out, more like someone is squeezing the crap out of it and pushing it up.
How do I know to move onto the next diaper size?
– I didn’t know. I thought that the diaper wouldn’t close around my baby, like when someone grows out of clothes. We figured out this is NOT how that works. My baby saturated about four diapers in about three hours. That’s how we knew. Once we switched to size ones instead of newborn, there wasn’t a problem.
By responding “You’ll know” the person in question also means that you will figure it out, and you will. Being a parent means that you try every possible solution until you find one that works. Yes, getting your questions and concerns answered will help you avoid wasting all the time that goes into figuring such things out, but then you miss out on a lot of what makes parenting fun and rewarding. When I find out how to calm my baby (changes every day) or when I figured out the most effective way to change a diaper, that is when I felt successful. That is when I felt the most confident about being able to take care of a little human being.
Embrace the unknown, that’s what makes the journey great.
Has anyone given you the “you’ll know” answer? What was your question and what do you wish they would have said instead? Comment below.